GREEN = GOOD CHANGES
(Check out the evil clown face my fat makes.)
Sunday, May 31, 2009
The Devils Face of Fat
RED = NEEDS CHANGING
GREEN = GOOD CHANGES
(Check out the evil clown face my fat makes.)
GREEN = GOOD CHANGES
(Check out the evil clown face my fat makes.)
Friday, May 29, 2009
I'll See You All Tomorrow Night (Almost Sunday Morning!)
Have a good, healthy, safe weekend homeboys and girls.
Fat, Soft, Gooey, and Nothing Appealing (I apologize now for the length)
I'm off for a couple of days. I won't be posting again till Saturday, late Saturday. Also, I don't plan on keeping track of what I eat in New Orleans. I'm not going to worry about it until I'm home.
---
Okay, so, I'm getting super paranoid and a little insecure. I know I've lost weight, plenty of people have been noticing!, but, well with seeing the most beautiful girl, I just kind of feel... fat. And soft. And gooey. And nothing appealing.
Crap.
I need to get back on the horse, but a couple of crunches and leglifts won't do squat tonight. I'll still be fat, soft, gooey, and nothing appealing.
---
"My mind is a neighborhood I try not to go into alone."
Anne Lamott
Okay, I need to relax, all the insecurities are simply just little neurons going off in my head.
It's like the devil is whispering in my ear: "You're fat. And Hairy. And that's about it."
The moment I publish this post will be the last time I enter my brain and think about my stomach. Or side boobs. Or arms. Or legs. Or love handles. Or butt. Or hair. Or facial hair. Or face.
Yep, no matter what I tell myself I need to remember first and foremost that I'm one studly guy because I'm made in the image of God, and from the pictures I've seen he's ripped.
---
Nope, those little affirmations didn't help. I still jiggle and feel all sorts of fat and softness and gooey.
---
Maybe another Anne Lamott quote will help:
"I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish."
---
A nice little practice I like to do when I get this way (about every other moment) is to sit back and remember that I'm more then just a body. That I have a soul, emotions, creativity, pride, religion, relationships, etc. Then I make a list.
I'm going to post that list, so deal with it. You should probably share with us all who you are. Or, at least remind yourself who you are.
---
- friend.
- brother.
- son.
- stepson.
- boyfriend.
- musician.
- writer.
- hugger.
- kisser.
- artist.
- christian.
- open minded.
- open hearted.
- kind.
- forgiving.
- forgiven.
- dancer.
- story teller.
- driver of a really run down car (symbolic much?).
- slightly insane.
- sleep deprived.
- over slept.
- poet.
- reader.
- youth pastor.
- coffee drinker.
- 20 years old.
- beard artist.
- social networking addict.
- pixar enthusiast.
- folk music fan.
- rap music fan.
- country music fan.
- jazz music fan.
- coldplay fan.
- poor.
- student.
- friendship evangelizer.
- quirky.
- comedian.
- former dispatcher.
- former chiropractic assistant with an emphasis in massage therapy.
- former deck sander/stainer.
- former leads generator.
- former chic'n'dip ice creamer maker.
- lead in my senior production.
- performer.
- preacher.
- teacher.
- hugger.
- cuddler.
- head rubber.
- foot masseuse.
- jolly.
- seemingly confident.
- impatient.
- (sexy) barista.
- blue eyed.
- killer sideburns.
- dog owner.
- former cat owner.
- couch sleeper.
- basement dweller.
- obnoxious, in a good way.
- slightly self-indulgent.
- Santa Clause-esque.
- walker.
- dreamer.
- democrat.
- space cowboy.
Mostly though:
- loved.
---
I'd post my diet and exercise. But, I'm starting to feel good again.
---
BIRD ATTACK COUNT: 16
DAYS-WITHOUT-SODA-POP-O-METER: 17
WATER GAUGE: approx. 60 oz.
---
All The Love My Massive Heart Can Give,
tommy
---
P.S.: I'll post some pictures and I'll get back on the horse on Sunday.
---
Okay, so, I'm getting super paranoid and a little insecure. I know I've lost weight, plenty of people have been noticing!, but, well with seeing the most beautiful girl, I just kind of feel... fat. And soft. And gooey. And nothing appealing.
Crap.
I need to get back on the horse, but a couple of crunches and leglifts won't do squat tonight. I'll still be fat, soft, gooey, and nothing appealing.
---
"My mind is a neighborhood I try not to go into alone."
Anne Lamott
Okay, I need to relax, all the insecurities are simply just little neurons going off in my head.
It's like the devil is whispering in my ear: "You're fat. And Hairy. And that's about it."
The moment I publish this post will be the last time I enter my brain and think about my stomach. Or side boobs. Or arms. Or legs. Or love handles. Or butt. Or hair. Or facial hair. Or face.
Yep, no matter what I tell myself I need to remember first and foremost that I'm one studly guy because I'm made in the image of God, and from the pictures I've seen he's ripped.
---
Nope, those little affirmations didn't help. I still jiggle and feel all sorts of fat and softness and gooey.
---
Maybe another Anne Lamott quote will help:
"I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish."
---
A nice little practice I like to do when I get this way (about every other moment) is to sit back and remember that I'm more then just a body. That I have a soul, emotions, creativity, pride, religion, relationships, etc. Then I make a list.
I'm going to post that list, so deal with it. You should probably share with us all who you are. Or, at least remind yourself who you are.
---
- friend.
- brother.
- son.
- stepson.
- boyfriend.
- musician.
- writer.
- hugger.
- kisser.
- artist.
- christian.
- open minded.
- open hearted.
- kind.
- forgiving.
- forgiven.
- dancer.
- story teller.
- driver of a really run down car (symbolic much?).
- slightly insane.
- sleep deprived.
- over slept.
- poet.
- reader.
- youth pastor.
- coffee drinker.
- 20 years old.
- beard artist.
- social networking addict.
- pixar enthusiast.
- folk music fan.
- rap music fan.
- country music fan.
- jazz music fan.
- coldplay fan.
- poor.
- student.
- friendship evangelizer.
- quirky.
- comedian.
- former dispatcher.
- former chiropractic assistant with an emphasis in massage therapy.
- former deck sander/stainer.
- former leads generator.
- former chic'n'dip ice creamer maker.
- lead in my senior production.
- performer.
- preacher.
- teacher.
- hugger.
- cuddler.
- head rubber.
- foot masseuse.
- jolly.
- seemingly confident.
- impatient.
- (sexy) barista.
- blue eyed.
- killer sideburns.
- dog owner.
- former cat owner.
- couch sleeper.
- basement dweller.
- obnoxious, in a good way.
- slightly self-indulgent.
- Santa Clause-esque.
- walker.
- dreamer.
- democrat.
- space cowboy.
Mostly though:
- loved.
---
I'd post my diet and exercise. But, I'm starting to feel good again.
---
BIRD ATTACK COUNT: 16
DAYS-WITHOUT-SODA-POP-O-METER: 17
WATER GAUGE: approx. 60 oz.
---
All The Love My Massive Heart Can Give,
tommy
---
P.S.: I'll post some pictures and I'll get back on the horse on Sunday.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
My First Craving In Sometime
Rationalization, is an enemy. Just like my mom and sleep.
I'm going to start making a list of things that are enemies.
Last night at youth group, I was sitting next to a guy who was drinking a cola. My gosh. It looked awesome. And I started rationalizing why it would be okay to have just one sip. Just one.
I told myself it'd be okay because I'm kind of having a disappointing fitness week as is, and if you're doing bad... why not just do worse. Right?
Then I was like: Well, I'm loosing weight as is, and I'm doing really good. One sip won't hurt.
Then I was like: Well, a cola would be really good with this ham sandwich.
Then I was like: What could it hurt? Lots of people drink cola.
Then I was like: Hey You! Get me a tall glass of milk and a cookie! Stat!
---
I didn't drink the cola, but I wanted to.
I substituted it with cookies and milk.
As I'm figuring, even if I don't eat well or exercise enough, still replacing cola with water is a good thing. Almost enough, I can get right back into the Get Fit Tommy campaign when I return from New Orleans. But, if I drink just one sip of cola, then the next sip will be okay, then the sip after that, then the next 10 cans.
No. I have to be done. I think when I reach my goal of 30 days, I'm gonna go another 30 days.
---
YESTERDAY'S DIET!
---
DIET:
BREAKFAST: Water Bottle, Banananananananas
LUNCH: Yogurt Parfait
SNACK: Homemade Cookies
DINNER: Sack Lunch (Ham Sandwich [with light mayo and mustard, and nasty yellow cheese.], Two Puddings, Three Cookies, Cheeze-its.) Two Tall Glasses of Milk
EXERCISE: Its getting really bad. I don't think I've exercised this whole week. I just lost motivation. I thinking about calling up an old coach from high school to get help with writing a workout/exercise schedule.
BIRD ATTACK COUNT: 16
DAYS-WITHOUT-SODA-POP-O-METER: 16 (Now, for everyday I've avoided soda-pop, I've been attacked by a nasty, vile, bird.)
WATER GAUGE: approx. 10 oz. (Oops! I did it again!)
---
All The Love My Massive Heart Can Give,
tommy
I'm going to start making a list of things that are enemies.
Last night at youth group, I was sitting next to a guy who was drinking a cola. My gosh. It looked awesome. And I started rationalizing why it would be okay to have just one sip. Just one.
I told myself it'd be okay because I'm kind of having a disappointing fitness week as is, and if you're doing bad... why not just do worse. Right?
Then I was like: Well, I'm loosing weight as is, and I'm doing really good. One sip won't hurt.
Then I was like: Well, a cola would be really good with this ham sandwich.
Then I was like: What could it hurt? Lots of people drink cola.
Then I was like: Hey You! Get me a tall glass of milk and a cookie! Stat!
---
I didn't drink the cola, but I wanted to.
I substituted it with cookies and milk.
As I'm figuring, even if I don't eat well or exercise enough, still replacing cola with water is a good thing. Almost enough, I can get right back into the Get Fit Tommy campaign when I return from New Orleans. But, if I drink just one sip of cola, then the next sip will be okay, then the sip after that, then the next 10 cans.
No. I have to be done. I think when I reach my goal of 30 days, I'm gonna go another 30 days.
---
YESTERDAY'S DIET!
---
DIET:
BREAKFAST: Water Bottle, Banananananananas
LUNCH: Yogurt Parfait
SNACK: Homemade Cookies
DINNER: Sack Lunch (Ham Sandwich [with light mayo and mustard, and nasty yellow cheese.], Two Puddings, Three Cookies, Cheeze-its.) Two Tall Glasses of Milk
EXERCISE: Its getting really bad. I don't think I've exercised this whole week. I just lost motivation. I thinking about calling up an old coach from high school to get help with writing a workout/exercise schedule.
BIRD ATTACK COUNT: 16
DAYS-WITHOUT-SODA-POP-O-METER: 16 (Now, for everyday I've avoided soda-pop, I've been attacked by a nasty, vile, bird.)
WATER GAUGE: approx. 10 oz. (Oops! I did it again!)
---
All The Love My Massive Heart Can Give,
tommy
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
What A Perfect Parfait Looks Like
Thank you, BBPP, for making a perfect parfait the other day. I felt guilty eating, until I ate it. It was awesome. You're awesome for making it.
About Last Night
So, you're going to have to bear with me. Posting for this next week is going to be a bit irratic. Sometimes I'll post twice a day, sometimes not at all.
As some of you know, or anybody who has read this week, I'll be flying to New Orleans on Friday for the night. I'm really excited. I get to see my wonderful girlfriend, meet some of her teammates, visit the wonderful city of New Orleans, leave the Northwest Suburbs... Dang, I'm super excited.
But, with all acts of spotanaity there is a lot to prepare for. I have about ten million errands to run before I leave, plus I work and such. Yay!
Anyways, last night I spent the evening with a dear friend (who is an enemy because he can cook like a madman) to watch "The Incredibles." I fell asleep during one of my favorite movies. So, I opted on having a much healthier night of sleep instead of posting. I'm sure it'll happen again. I probably won't post Friday night. That all depends on the hotel situation. I'll bring my computer just in case.
---
Today while I was visiting some friends. I love my friends. They lte me know that I look thinner in my face and in my belly. That was nice to hear. Thank you.
---
YESTERDAY'S DIET!
--
DIET:
LUNCH: Creamy Bacon/Potatoe Soup
DINNER: Yogurt Parfait
(Too busy to eat. I'm not starving myself for a girl. I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that.)
EXERCISE:
Closing (Swept and mopped the entire cafe! I broke quite the sweat. It counts.)
BIRD ATTACK COUNT: 16 (I'm loosing track).
DAYS-WITHOUT-SODA-POP-O-METER: 15
WATER GAUGE: approx. 50 oz.
---
All The Love My Massive Heart Can Give,
tommy
As some of you know, or anybody who has read this week, I'll be flying to New Orleans on Friday for the night. I'm really excited. I get to see my wonderful girlfriend, meet some of her teammates, visit the wonderful city of New Orleans, leave the Northwest Suburbs... Dang, I'm super excited.
But, with all acts of spotanaity there is a lot to prepare for. I have about ten million errands to run before I leave, plus I work and such. Yay!
Anyways, last night I spent the evening with a dear friend (who is an enemy because he can cook like a madman) to watch "The Incredibles." I fell asleep during one of my favorite movies. So, I opted on having a much healthier night of sleep instead of posting. I'm sure it'll happen again. I probably won't post Friday night. That all depends on the hotel situation. I'll bring my computer just in case.
---
Today while I was visiting some friends. I love my friends. They lte me know that I look thinner in my face and in my belly. That was nice to hear. Thank you.
---
YESTERDAY'S DIET!
--
DIET:
LUNCH: Creamy Bacon/Potatoe Soup
DINNER: Yogurt Parfait
(Too busy to eat. I'm not starving myself for a girl. I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that.)
EXERCISE:
Closing (Swept and mopped the entire cafe! I broke quite the sweat. It counts.)
BIRD ATTACK COUNT: 16 (I'm loosing track).
DAYS-WITHOUT-SODA-POP-O-METER: 15
WATER GAUGE: approx. 50 oz.
---
All The Love My Massive Heart Can Give,
tommy
Monday, May 25, 2009
Now I Really Need To Watch What I Eat
HOLY FREAKING CRAP!
---
I am so freaking excited. Listen readers, you have no idea how pumped I am right now. I'm so pumped, I actually said pumped.
Let me explain.
Today, I really got to missing the most beautiful girl that has ever walked this earth (You can be number two. Sorry, but she is just that damn beautiful). I was also thinking about the new Pixar movie "Up" and how freaking good it looks. Then I was thinking how great it would be to watch "Up" with Stephanie.
So, I am.
I booked a flight and booked a hotel room and I'm going to see "Up" in New Orleans.
---
I'm mostly excited to see Stephanie. In fact, I would never watch another movie ever again if I had to choose between her and a movie. In fact, I would give up just about anything if I had to make the choice.
She is simply amazing, and well, I miss her.
---
DIET:
BREAKFAST - Tommy Snacks
SNACK 1 - Soy Chai Latte
SNACK 2 - 1/4 of a lemon bar
SNACK 3 - Coffee
DINNER - Chicken Wrap, Chicken Sandwich (No Mayo)
DESSERT - Grilled BBQ Chicken
EXERCISE:
- Running around like crazy at work, sweating like a madman.
- Shaking from drinking too much coffee.
- Jumping up and down from excitement.
- Smiling from ear to ear
- Pacing while talking to Stephanie
BIRD ATTACK COUNT: 16 (I'm loosing track).
DAYS-WITHOUT-SODA-POP-O-METER: 14 (Two whole weeks!)
WATER GAUGE: approx. 60 oz. (Not bad?)
---
All The Love My Massive Heart Can Give,
tommy
---
I am so freaking excited. Listen readers, you have no idea how pumped I am right now. I'm so pumped, I actually said pumped.
Let me explain.
Today, I really got to missing the most beautiful girl that has ever walked this earth (You can be number two. Sorry, but she is just that damn beautiful). I was also thinking about the new Pixar movie "Up" and how freaking good it looks. Then I was thinking how great it would be to watch "Up" with Stephanie.
So, I am.
I booked a flight and booked a hotel room and I'm going to see "Up" in New Orleans.
---
I'm mostly excited to see Stephanie. In fact, I would never watch another movie ever again if I had to choose between her and a movie. In fact, I would give up just about anything if I had to make the choice.
She is simply amazing, and well, I miss her.
---
DIET:
BREAKFAST - Tommy Snacks
SNACK 1 - Soy Chai Latte
SNACK 2 - 1/4 of a lemon bar
SNACK 3 - Coffee
DINNER - Chicken Wrap, Chicken Sandwich (No Mayo)
DESSERT - Grilled BBQ Chicken
EXERCISE:
- Running around like crazy at work, sweating like a madman.
- Shaking from drinking too much coffee.
- Jumping up and down from excitement.
- Smiling from ear to ear
- Pacing while talking to Stephanie
BIRD ATTACK COUNT: 16 (I'm loosing track).
DAYS-WITHOUT-SODA-POP-O-METER: 14 (Two whole weeks!)
WATER GAUGE: approx. 60 oz. (Not bad?)
---
All The Love My Massive Heart Can Give,
tommy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
